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  1. I am very detail-oreinted.

    My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.

    Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!

    Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.

    I am sicking and entry-level position.

    It's best for employers that I not work with people.

    Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

    I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated.

    If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.

    My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job." And I like your company in particular.

    You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate!

    I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt.

    Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.

    Please disregard the attached resumeit is terribly out of date.

    Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.

    Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.

    Previous experience: Self-employed--a fiasco.

    Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.

    My experience in horticulture is well-rooted.

    Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.

    I am a rabid typist.

    Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984.

    I have a bachelorette degree in computers.

    Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.

    Graduated in the top 66% of my class.

    Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.

    Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.

    Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes.

    I worked as a Corporate Lesion.

    Special Skills: Speak English.

    Served as assistant sore manager.

    Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.

    Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.

    Education: B.A. in Loberal Arts.

    Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis

     

  2. What is Particle Spin?

    Spin is a fundamental quantity of a particle.

    The property called spin is called that as part of the global conspiracy to keep quantum mechanics confusing.  I say that because spin is not a description of the rotation of a particle.  About 90 years ago, physicists studying the deflection of electrons in a magnetic field noticed that the particles acted as if they were spinning, because of their magnetic fields.  But the math showed that rotation couldn't be responsible for the field because it would require the rotation be faster than light, and that's not allowed.

    So, spin is the term used to describe the intrinsic angular momentum and magnetic moment of the particle - but we don't know how that angular momentum is created.

    Spin comes in two flavors - half integer spin and integer spin.  The half integer spin particles conform to a set of rules called Fermi-Dirac distribution and integer spin particles conform to a set of rules called Bose-Einstein distribution.

    - Robert Frost

  3. The UEFA Champions League, known simply as the Champions League, is an annual continental club football competition organised by the Union of European Football Associations (UEFA) and contested by top-division European clubs. It is one of the most prestigious tournaments in the world and the most prestigious club competition in European football, played by the national league champion (and, for some nations, one or more runners-up) of each UEFA national association. The final of the 2012–13 tournament was the most watched UEFA Champions League final to date, as well as the most watched annual sporting event worldwide in 2013, drawing 360 million television viewers.

    Introduced in 1992, the competition replaced the European Champion Clubs' Cup, or simply European Cup, which had run since 1955, adding a group stage to the competition and allowing multiple entrants from certain countries.[2] The pre-1992 competition was initially a straight knockout tournament open only to the champion club of each country. During the 1990s, the format was expanded, incorporating a round-robin group stage to include clubs that finished runner-up of some nations' top level league.[2] While most of Europe's national leagues can still only enter their national league champion, Europe's strongest national leagues now provide up to four teams for the competition,[3] and will provide up to five teams from the 2015–16 season onwards.[4] Clubs that finish next-in-line in each nation's top level league, having not qualified for the UEFA Champions League competition, may be eligible for the next level UEFA Europa League competition.

    In its present format, the UEFA Champions League begins in mid-July with three knockout qualifying rounds and a play-off round. The 10 surviving teams enter the group stage, joining 22 other teams qualified in advance. The 32 teams are drawn into eight groups of four teams and play each other in a double round-robin system. The eight group winners and eight runners-up proceed to the knockout phase that culminates with the final match in May.[5] The winner of the UEFA Champions League qualifies for the UEFA Super Cup and the FIFA Club World Cup.

    Real Madrid is the most successful club in the competition's history, having won the tournament ten times, including its first five seasons. Spanish clubs have accumulated the highest number of victories (15 wins), followed by England and Italy (12 wins apiece). The competition has been won by 22 different clubs, 12 of which have won it more than once.[8] Since the tournament changed name and structure in 1992, no club has managed consecutive wins; Milan were the last holders to successfully defend their title, in the 1989–90 season.[9] The reigning champions were Barcelona, who secured their fifth title in the competition after defeating Juventus 3–1 in the 2015 Final.

    Screen Shot 2016-05-08 at 3.35.29 PM.png

    - WIkipedia

  4. Philippine candidate Grace Poe denies she will give way in favor of administration bet Mar Roxas 

    Philippine senator and former coup plotter Antonio Trillanes warns that a coup d'etat may occur if Rodrigo Duterte wins the presidential elections.

    The sect Iglesia ni Cristo conducts a "silent war" against the senatorial candidacy of justice secretary Leila de Lima. 

    Philippine presidential candidate Grace Poe releases her full statement of assets, liabilities, and net worth. 

  5. Acting on a request from Brazil's top prosecutor, Supreme Court Justice Teori Zavascki suspends President of the Deputies ChamberEduardo Cunha for obstructing the Petrobras corruption investigation. If the full court confirms this action, Cunha will be eliminated from the line of succession to President Dilma Rousseff, who may be suspended from office next week. 

  6. The western Canadian province of Alberta declares a state of emergency as devastating wildfires, fed by unseasonably hot temperatures and dry conditions, grow to five times their initial size. The mandatory evacuation order expands to include the communities of Anzac, Gregoire Lake Estates, and Fort McMurray First Nation, forcing thousands who had just resettled to move again.

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  7. A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

    The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?"

    The mathematician replies "Four."

    The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?"

    The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says

    "Yes, four, exactly."

    Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question

    "What do two plus two equal?"

    The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

    Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question

    "What do two plus two equal?"

    The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next
    to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

  8. Financial Statements

    Statement of Net Assets
    As of January 31, 2016

    The fund reports a complete list of its holdings in regulatory filings four times in each fiscal year, at the quarter-ends. For the second and fourth fiscal quarters, the lists appear in the fund’s semiannual and annual reports to shareholders. For the first and third fiscal quarters, the fund files the lists with the Securities and Exchange Commission on Form N-Q. Shareholders can look up the fund’s Forms N-Q on the SEC’s website at sec.gov. Forms N-Q may also be reviewed and copied at the SEC’s Public Reference Room (see the back cover of this report for further information).

     Market Value • Shares($000)  Common Stocks (99.9%)1  

    Basic Materials (4.0%)  

    Ecolab Inc.1,726,509186,239

    Praxair Inc.1,666,151166,615

    Air Products &  Chemicals Inc.1,236,247156,645

    PPG Industries Inc.1,569,884149,327

    Airgas Inc.433,48360,688

    International Flavors &  Fragrances Inc.467,23254,647

    Westlake Chemical Corp.766,62334,866

    Albemarle Corp.647,16734,067

    RPM International Inc.771,72030,290

    Compass Minerals  International Inc.194,00014,521

    Royal Gold Inc.373,69311,132

    HB Fuller Co.290,52910,814

    Stepan Co.128,3685,771

     915,622

    Consumer Goods (22.6%)  

    Coca-Cola Co.23,066,263990,004

    Procter & Gamble Co.11,732,220958,405

    PepsiCo Inc.8,552,794849,292

    NIKE Inc. Class B7,920,394491,144

    Colgate-Palmolive Co.5,233,542353,421

    Monsanto Co.2,790,205252,793

    VF Corp.2,491,727155,982

    Kellogg Co.2,057,663151,115

    Archer-Daniels-Midland Co.3,660,311129,392

    Hormel Foods Corp.1,521,035122,306

    Clorox Co.757,01997,693

    JM Smucker Co.690,44988,598

    Stanley Black & Decker Inc.908,21785,681

    Genuine Parts Co.881,08275,923

    Brown-Forman Corp. Class B732,31571,650

    Church & Dwight Co. Inc.753,36163,282

    McCormick & Co. Inc.671,08159,035

    Bunge Ltd.837,75051,949

    Leggett & Platt Inc.798,35933,140

    Polaris Industries Inc.382,69928,259

    Flowers Foods Inc.1,208,39324,820

    Lancaster Colony Corp.157,79416,045

    J&J Snack Foods Corp.107,87411,648

    Tootsie Roll Industries Inc.  221,1397,258

    Andersons Inc.166,3454,876

      5,173,711

    Consumer Services (18.1%)  

    Wal-Mart Stores Inc.11,900,030789,686

    CVS Health Corp.6,492,379627,099

    Walgreens Boots  Alliance Inc.6,288,777501,341

    Lowe’s Cos. Inc.5,538,875396,916

    Costco Wholesale Corp.2,541,582384,084

    TJX Cos. Inc.3,974,667283,155

    Target Corp.3,693,765267,503

    Yum! Brands Inc.2,498,894180,845

    Cardinal Health Inc.1,904,687154,984

    Ross Stores Inc.2,406,238135,375

    AmerisourceBergen Corp. Class A1,266,951113,468

    Gap Inc.2,443,86260,412

    Best Buy Co. Inc.2,023,71156,522

    Tiffany & Co.746,36847,648

    FactSet Research Systems Inc.240,76636,283

    Rollins Inc.1,261,68434,759

    Casey’s General  Stores Inc.223,49026,984

    Cracker Barrel Old Country Store Inc.138,03718,115

    John Wiley & Sons Inc. Class A285,08411,917

    Aaron’s Inc.417,9539,563

    Matthews International  Corp. Class A190,3739,502

      4,146,161

    Financials (5.2%)  

    Chubb Ltd.1,903,446215,223

    Aflac Inc.2,532,755146,798

    McGraw Hill Financial Inc.1,578,270134,184

    Franklin Resources Inc.3,588,403124,374

    T. Rowe Price Group Inc.1,504,640106,754

    Invesco Ltd.2,476,97574,136

    SEI Investments Co.962,60237,772

    WR Berkley Corp.725,88136,403

    Assurant Inc.397,43132,315

    Axis Capital Holdings Ltd.581,93131,372

    RenaissanceRe Holdings Ltd.265,60929,921

    StanCorp Financial  Group Inc.243,24527,890

    Erie Indemnity Co. Class A266,57825,621

    Brown & Brown Inc.827,99025,047

    Commerce Bancshares Inc.584,40124,036

    Bank of the Ozarks Inc.500,47122,191

    Eaton Vance Corp.680,93519,516

    Cullen/Frost Bankers Inc.364,18317,430

    Prosperity Bancshares Inc.402,40117,062

    RLI Corp.248,81314,755

    UMB Financial Corp.264,05512,384

    American Equity Investment 

    Life Holding Co.502,3949,139

    Infinity Property &  Casualty Corp.66,2955,263

    BancFirst Corp.89,2344,992

    First Financial Corp.74,2882,455

      1,197,033

    Health Care (11.4%)  

    Johnson & Johnson 9,743,0941,017,569

    Medtronic plc8,222,231624,232

    Abbott Laboratories8,706,343329,535

    Stryker Corp.2,185,220216,664

    Becton Dickinson and Co.1,113,119161,814

    Perrigo Co. plc812,238117,433

    CR Bard Inc.428,54978,540

    West Pharmaceutical  Services Inc.412,57923,608

    Healthcare Services  Group Inc.410,90514,534

    Owens & Minor Inc.363,77112,605

      2,596,534

    Industrials (21.7%)  

    3M Co.3,662,271553,003

    United Technologies  Corp.5,234,044458,973

    Lockheed Martin Corp.1,820,828384,195

    General Dynamics Corp.1,913,783256,007

    Automatic Data Processing Inc.2,741,409227,784

    Raytheon Co.1,773,157227,390

    Caterpillar Inc.3,497,301217,672

    FedEx Corp.1,634,567217,201

    Northrop Grumman Corp.1,144,661211,831

    Illinois Tool Works Inc.2,189,248197,186

     Emerson Electric Co.3,953,397181,777

     Deere & Co.1,958,684150,838

     Sherwin-Williams Co.547,605140,006

     CSX Corp.5,716,244131,588

     Norfolk Southern Corp.1,773,656125,043

     Roper Technologies Inc.579,088101,728

     Republic Services Inc. Class A2,037,47189,038

     Parker-Hannifin Corp.821,93479,859

    WW Grainger Inc.389,19876,551

    Fastenal Co.1,704,89569,151

    Cintas Corp.676,92458,161

     L-3 Communications Holdings Inc.476,18055,637

     Dover Corp.940,72954,986

     CH Robinson  Worldwide Inc.845,04854,734

     Expeditors International of Washington Inc.1,106,32749,917

     JB Hunt Transport Services Inc.672,26748,874

     Jack Henry &  Associates Inc.471,90938,310

     Valspar Corp.472,66737,024

     Robert Half International Inc.779,84734,134

     Carlisle Cos. Inc.375,11331,389

     AO Smith Corp.439,80530,720

     Bemis Co. Inc.562,40326,922

     AptarGroup Inc.359,68726,221

     Graco Inc.340,47924,746

     Toro Co.323,13524,080

     Lincoln Electric Holdings Inc.444,38923,659

     Donaldson Co. Inc.792,40122,330

     Nordson Corp.355,15321,462

     Silgan Holdings Inc.364,53219,273

     MSC Industrial Direct  Co. Inc. Class A280,36518,170

     ITT Corp.525,19417,043

     Ryder System Inc.305,58516,248

     Crane Co.335,48316,023

     Valmont Industries Inc.138,47814,760

     Regal Beloit Corp.257,77114,489

     CLARCOR Inc.289,65913,573

     ABM Industries Inc.322,6069,688

     MSA Safety Inc.216,1569,251

     Franklin Electric Co. Inc.273,9027,472

     Brady Corp. Class A275,1616,175

     Tennant Co.106,2195,748

    Lindsay Corp.69,1684,865

    Badger Meter Inc.83,4324,658

    Gorman-Rupp Co.151,4933,851

    McGrath RentCorp149,8333,657

    Cass Information Systems Inc.66,5243,386

    Raven Industries Inc.219,5393,295

    Mesa Laboratories Inc.20,2852,110

    VSE Corp.30,9141,855

    NACCO Industries Inc.  

    Class A32,9591,569

      4,957,286

    Oil & Gas (1.1%)  

    EOG Resources Inc.3,164,339224,731

    Murphy Oil Corp.1,024,35820,088

      244,819

    Technology (13.2%)  

    Microsoft Corp.22,776,9551,254,782

    International Business Machines Corp.5,702,862711,660

    QUALCOMM Inc.9,517,480431,523

    Texas Instruments Inc.6,041,695319,787

    Analog Devices Inc.1,797,98696,840

    Xilinx Inc.1,508,40275,827

    Harris Corp.715,87062,259

    Linear Technology Corp.1,380,03858,969

      3,011,647

    Telecommunications (0.1%)  

    Telephone & Data  

    Systems Inc.580,88813,471

    Atlantic Tele-Network Inc.91,8457,071

      20,542

    Utilities (2.5%)  

    NextEra Energy Inc.2,558,498285,810

    Edison International1,880,237116,198

    Atmos Energy Corp.582,01140,287

    UGI Corp.996,93233,896

    Aqua America Inc.1,020,26232,169

    National Fuel Gas Co.486,42322,049

    New Jersey Resources Corp.492,65617,351

    American States Water Co.220,2169,998

    MGE Energy Inc.200,1259,696

    California Water Service Group275,6746,917

    Chesapeake Utilities Corp.84,2275,304

    SJW Corp.

    http://pe.newriver.com/summary.asp?doctype=ann&cid=AMTDPS&fid=921908844

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