Signs You're In A Toxic Relationship

[Guest Nicole]

Here are five red flags that your relationship might be toxic:

1. You don't feel good about yourself.

You hardly recognize yourself. You have stopped trying to defend yourself against your partner’s criticisms. He believes he's always right, so you must be wrong. You aren't free to speak your own truth. You used to be happy and full of energy; now you're emotionally drained and exhausted. In a healthy relationship, the other person supports and encourages you to be yourself rather than putting down your ideas, opinions, and ambitions.

2. You don't communicate.

When you two disagree, your partner ignores the problem or simply refuses to discuss it. You're ready to talk it through until you resolve the issue. But in a toxic relationship, arguments—even petty ones, like what to watch on TV—can lead to verbal, physical, or emotional abuse.

3. You find yourself falling into negative habits.

What sent Lydia to that lunch with her friends was the realization that she was drinking far too much. The "happy hour" Jake liked so much was merely an excuse to start chugging it down for the rest of the evening. What had been fun at first became an anxiety-inducing situation in which Lydia felt pressured to drink far more than she was comfortable with.

This could be embodied in any type of addictive behavior—not just drinking—like smoking, drugs, shopping, or gambling, or not going to work, isolating in the house, etc.

4. You are being controlled by the other person's jealousy.

At first, you thought it was love. You had found your "other half"—the person who would make you whole. Instead, their jealousy has cut you off from your friends, your family, and, in fact, from anyone who isn't your partner. They don’t even like you talking on the phone to anyone but them. This is not love; this is unhealthy control.

5. Your friends and family don't like your relationship.

No, they aren't blind to his charms. Chances are, they see what's happening more clearly than you do. Instead of being so defensive, really think about what they say (assuming you give them an opening to even speak about it).

By Deborah King/MBG