How Can There be 880 Languages Without Thousands of Highly Trained and Brilliant People?

[TrueTomHarley]

Dr. William Woo, Professor Exaltus at Bulldog U, recently wowed the academic world with an astounding breakthrough in the highly specialized field of linguistical translagistics. His findings are to be published in the April issue of Wonderful Scientist Magazine and he is very excited, for he will get to rub shoulders with persons almost as brilliant as he.

For years experts have scratched their collective heads at reports that, in a bi-lingual household, children become expert in both languages and in a tri-lingual household, all three. This clearly makes no sense. Lingual inter-fluency is an extraordinary complex skill. Good tools are critically important ... but the MOST important tools are highly qualified, trained, experienced, intelligent, and creative highly motivated, extremely competent "Renaissance Babies" who have the analytical skills of Sherlock Holmes.

Dr. Woo’s hypothesis was that bi-lingual families have been clandestinely sending their infants to Harvard for eight years. He tested this hypothesis by telling Harvard not to accept them for a while. Sure enough, when he went back to check on his test families, the children were grunting like cavemen. Even the adults had regressed.

Dr. Woo has traveled an unconventional path in his rise to stellar brilliance. For many years, he belonged to an oppressive religious cult where he and three others were the only smart ones. All the rest were morons. Oh, there was a fellow named Fred from long ago. But there has been no one since. There are some there who would like to think with their heads, but the cult leaders make them read endless material produced at a grade level far below anything Dr. Woo would ever be caught dead with. His former friends all hang out at various headquarters around the globe, where they can’t even figure out how to procreate, for that, too, requires a high level of special expertise which cannot be had without years at the university.

Finally, Dr. Woo could stand it no more at the cult and he left. But – strangely, he didn’t leave. He spends all his spare time – possibly all his time – stalking his former chums and digging up slander on what used to be his most cherished cause. He will comment on some of his ex-friends posts, and if they reply, he will not seriously address their answer. He will just continue with more bitching. He doesn’t necessarily realize that his former chums will read the first paragraph of his endless comment, in huge font and bold print, see that no serious reply has been attempted, and skip all the rest, since they know a blowhard when they see one. I mean, he kind of comes across as a loser. You would think that, having decided to move on in life, he would do just that, instead of harassing his old chums like a crazed ex-wife who just can’t let go.

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

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Dr. William Woo, Professor Exaltus at Bulldog U,  has a very influential and virtually omnipresent brother, Pitching Woo, who people in Japan think is a Chinese baseball player, but who is actually responsible for the procreation of the great majority of new devotees.

Asked how this continuous process is actually effected he reportedly replied ... "..inuendo.".

I would actually provide hard facts for these assertions, but I can't seem to find the Extra Bold 24 point typeface icons, and I have to get back to my TARDIS.

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[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

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... and of course, Bill's other brother, Yoda Layhee Woo, who did the music for the Movie "Mars Attacks", shares Bill's opinion that those who can find their way around a first aid kit are not necessarily qualified medics, and even highly qualified battlefield medics are not qualified thoracic surgeons.

With that in mind, I do not do my own dental work, even tough in an emergency, a rock and an ice skate might work, if I survived it.

If a highly qualified expert in ANY field taught you everything he knows ... you would still be woefully deficient ... as he cannot teach you what he does NOT know .... and it is true with you, me, and EVERYONE ... what you do NOT know ... but think you DO know ... can waste your life or get you killed.