Raising Children in a Permissive World — ????????

[Bible Speaks]

Raising Children in a Permissive World

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 Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a boy (or girl) according to the way for him.” The verse continues with these heartwarming words: “Even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it.” Does this inspired proverb offer a guarantee of success? Not necessarily. Your child has free will and will grow up to exercise it. But this verse offers parents a loving assurance. What is that?

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If you train your children according to the Bible’s counsel, you are creating the most favorable circumstances to bring about a marvelous result—seeing your children grow up to be happy, fulfilled, and responsible adults. (Proverbs 23:24)By all means, then, prepare those precious “arrows,” protect them, and expend yourself in directing them. You will never regret it.

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In contrast, the Bible advises parents: “Train up a boy according to the way for him.” (Proverbs 22:6) Wise parents follow this direction, setting and enforcing clear, consistent, and reasonable rules. They do not confuse love with permissiveness; nor do they reward children for whining, nagging, or throwing tantrums. Rather, they agree with Jesus’ wise words: “Just let your word Yes mean Yes, your No, No.” (Matthew 5:37) 

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A loving parent also helps the child to understand the reasons behind the rules. Discipline thus involves not only the giving of commands and the meting out of punishment but, more important, the imparting of understanding. The Bible notes: “An understanding son is observing the law.”—Proverbs 28:7.

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 How, though, can parents make sure that such teachings are really “attached” to their children?

Notice God’s counsel to Israelite parents in Moses’ time: “These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son.” (Deuteronomy 6:6, 7) So parents need to do two things. First, they need to learn and apply God’s Word themselves, actually coming to love God’s laws. (Psalm 119:97) 

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Then they are in a position to apply the second part of the scripture—to “inculcate” God’s laws in their children. That means impressing the value of such laws on their children’s hearts through effective teaching and frequent repetition.

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Clearly, there is nothing old-fashioned or out-of-date about teaching Bible principles or using loving discipline to correct serious faults. 

Likewise, good parents are concer about protecting their children from the dangers of this degraded world. It may be that parents prohibit certain activities that would unnecessarily expose their children to dangerous influences. For example, wise parents take this principle seriously: “Bad associations spoil useful habits.” (1 Corinthians 15:33) 

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Protecting children from association with those who do not respect the moral standards of the Bible will likely keep young ones from making a number of costly, even deadly, mistakes.

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Children may not always appreciate parental protection. In fact, they may well resent it at times, for protecting your children will often mean telling them no. A respected author of books on child rearing comments: “Though they don’t always show it and probably won’t thank you at that moment, children really do want parents to provide safe, predictable structure in their lives. We can do that by being an authoritative parent who sets limits on behavior.”

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Yes, protecting your children from anything that might rob them of their peace, their innocence, or their clean standing before God is an essential way to show that you love them. In time, they will likely come to understand your motives, and they will appreciate your loving protection.

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Raising children is hard work. Doing that work wholeheartedly with the guidance of God’s Word is certainly demanding, but the rewards are priceless. Parents magazine noted: “Studies . . . have found that children brought up by loving but authoritative parents—those who are supportive of their children yet maintain firm limits—excel academically, develop better social skills, feel good about themselves, and are happier overall than kids whose parents are either too lenient or excessively harsh.”

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?Do parents show love for their children by giving in to their every demand?

?A loving parent explains the reasons behind family rules

?Good parents protect their children from the dangers of this degraded world

?Raising children is hard work, but the rewards are priceless

https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/2008244#h=1

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