I'm worried about a 'brother' recently reinstated spending too much time with my grandchildren

[JOHN BUTLER]

OK, I know some people will not like this and they will call it gossip but my wife and I are worried about it so it needs to aired out.

We have one daughter that is still a JW. i will call her H.  She is married to a non JW. She has 4 children.

This daughter does not seem to recognise any dangers at all about her children. She invites anyone to her house without really knowing who they are or anything about their past.

3 of the children are girls and they attend ballet and tap dance lessons. They are only young, the oldest being around 8 years old. 

Today they were in a performance /show in Exeter, a biggish show that their teacher was putting on for all parents, grandparents, etc. 

I wasn't allowed to go of course as I'm a 'naughty boy' that left the Org.

My wife went to the show and was surprised to find two 'brothers' there.

One of the 'brothers' is a young single Elder and the other 'brother' is an old man that has recently been reinstated and moved into Honiton congregation.  

This older man frequently visits H and her daughters at their home and the girls call him Uncle Phil. He seems very 'friendly' toward the girls.

H does not know where this 'brother' is from but he is now part of the Honiton Congregation which H and her children attend, here in Devon. 

It seems strange to me that this man has just arrived at Honiton Congregation and just been reinstated. My wife says he has a London accent. 

If I were still a JW I would ask him bluntly why he was disfellowshipped and where he is from, but of course I cannot do that now.

I have his full name, so is there any way i can run a check on him ? 

Should i contact an Elder at Honiton Congregation and tell them of the concern my wife and I have ? 

If this 'brother' had been involved in a child abuse accusation would they have told H about it so that she could be on her guard ? 

Some on here may think I'm just trying to cause trouble, but my wife came home this evening and is looking very worried. 

It seems that H had invited both 'brothers' to the meal afterward and my wife felt unhappy about the whole situation. 

TTH will probably bring out the rule book again and say 'it never happens', but child abuse does happen and needs to be looked for all the time. 

Our daughter H seems to have no idea about the situations that have taken place, and in honesty she doesn't want to know. So how can my wife warn her ?  

 

 

 

 

[TrueTomHarley]

8 minutes ago, JOHN BUTLER said:

Our daughter H seems to have no idea about the situations that have taken place, and in honesty she doesn't want to know. So how can my wife warn her ?  

Say ‘the guy might be a pervert. Remember the warning everyone got at the 2017 Regional convention?’

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

8 minutes ago, JOHN BUTLER said:

I have his full name, so is there any way i can run a check on him ? 

Sure ... just type his full name and anything else you know about him into google, and for about $30, you can know almost everything there is to know about him.

Be careful which firm you choose ... about 60% of them are scams.

[JOHN BUTLER]

Just now, TrueTomHarley said:

Say ‘the guy might be a pervert. Remember the warning everyone got at the 2017 Regional convention?’

He might be, he might not be. But I'm just grandad that is left on the sidelines and I suppose it looks as if I'm bitter about it. 

So do I just mind my own business, or is it my business ? 

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

30 minutes ago, JOHN BUTLER said:

So do I just mind my own business, or is it my business ? 

Everybody that is a busybody does not think so ... in their own minds.

Was it Shakespeare in "Henry V" that told of King Henry walking among his soldiers in disguise, at night, to listen to their campfire talk, in the unwarranted invasion of France, and one soldier said to another " I hope our Sovereign is doing the right thing, as we have to obey him, but he will answer to God for what we do, here" (heavily paraphrased from memory ....)

Or, as Yoda said "There is only do ...or do not.   There is no try!"

(My advice is ...)  Either GO TO WAR ... OR RETIRE FROM THE FIELD !

If you do decide to go to war ... be prepared to lose, badly.

THERE IS ONLY ONE EXCUSE FOR BEING A "BUSYBODY" !

..... if you win.

 

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

My other considered opinion ( and it's worth every cent you paid for it ...) John, is that you have a SERIOUS, almost fatal  deficiency of John Wayne movies.

[Anna]

9 hours ago, JOHN BUTLER said:

If this 'brother' had been involved in a child abuse accusation would they have told H about it so that she could be on her guard ? 

Yes. 

But there is absolutely  nothing wrong with your wife approaching your daughter with concerns about this 'brother', as suggested by TTH:

9 hours ago, TrueTomHarley said:

Say ‘the guy might be a pervert. Remember the warning everyone got at the 2017 Regional convention?’

 

[JOHN BUTLER]

11 hours ago, James Thomas Rook Jr. said:

My other considered opinion ( and it's worth every cent you paid for it ...) John, is that you have a SERIOUS, almost fatal  deficiency of John Wayne movies.

Didn't JW turn to a child, in one of his films and say  ' You're what this war is all about ' 

And something like ' Get off ya horse n drink ya milk'  

In my second marriage we had a son and I almost named him Wayne, as my name being John, John (and) Wayne.

But i thought it was too much Hero worship which we are told is a sin. :) 

 

 

[TrueTomHarley]

This is apocryphal but I think true, since there are not many degrees of separation:

Many years ago waiting for the pioneer meeting to get underway, some of us young pioneers started commenting on nightmare scenarios—like witnessing to super-patriot John Wayne. He probably would sic his Rottweilers on us!

The circuit overseer interjected that it was not so. In a circuit he had once served, a brother had called upon John Wayne, who could not have been more kind or more respectful, even saying that he knew that what they had was true, but that he would never be able to live up to it.

Now (and this is my speculation years later) where could he have gotten such a good impression of Jehovah’s Witnesses?

”I played in a movie called Ring of Fear …..This was where I got the Jag. The guy wrote and directed the picture had problems, but John Wayne who produced it, never gave up on his friends. Duke was having a bad time, going through a divorce, and they needed to fix the script. So they're thinking who could do it, and someone says, Spillane's a writer, he could do it. Now I'm playing ME in the picture, for pete's sake. They called me up in Newburgh on Wednesday, I'm already back home across the country, and said come back and fix it. So I took my Wagner records, flew West, and worked Friday, Saturday, Sunday. They set me up in a beautiful hotel suite, and I worked. …..And they wanta pay me for the script but I won't take nothing for that, it was a favour. But Duke says, 'he was looking at those Jags in the lot next to the Cock and Bull'. One night, I'm back in Newburgh, it's snowing, and out in front of my house is this beautiful Jag with a red ribbon around it, and a note that says 'Thanks, Duke'.” - Mickey Spillane

 

 

[Matthew9969]

Over here in the U.S. we have a national sex offender list that anyone can see for free. It's a list of men or women who have raped children. Do you have the same there?

 

[JOHN BUTLER]

30 minutes ago, Matthew9969 said:

Over here in the U.S. we have a national sex offender list that anyone can see for free. It's a list of men or women who have raped children. Do you have the same there?

 

I don't know, but I'd need more info on him like his previous address I think. His name is quite basic so could be many men with the same name. I don't know his age either other than my wife says he's old and looks around 60. 

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

5 hours ago, TrueTomHarley said:

One night, I'm back in Newburgh, it's snowing, and out in front of my house is this beautiful Jag with a red ribbon around it, and a note that says 'Thanks, Duke'.” - Mickey Spillane

Love Never Fails.

... and you don't need three days and 20 videos to explain it.

Remember the Elders that counseled Job for three days?  After three days they had said NOTHING of value, worth recording in what later became Scripture.